Tuesday, May 28, 2013

attn gentlemen

Hey team! I have big news! I've decided to finally start putting an effort into dating! Well, let's be honest, it's not a huge effort... but I am open to it... sort of. More open to it than I was before!

I don't know if dating is like this for everyone, but I feel like I've been learning a lot more about myself than the other person. FOR INSTANCE:

I do not like it when people mistake politeness for flirting. This makes any pleasant conversation suddenly turn awkward and embarrassing. This makes me want to throw up all over everything. This makes me wish that I was Gilbert Grape's mother and incapable of leaving my house. This is bad. Do not do this.


Some days I might doubt this, but for the most part, I know I'm pretty. Trust me, I do not leave the house without putting some consideration into what I look like. So please don't waste your time in telling me I'm pretty. I'm not dumb. You don't have to tell me how I look. Do you want to make me feel sexy? Compliment my brain instead.


Do not act like you know me. Saying something like: "You seem like a down to earth girl" is lame and inaccurate. Sure, I'm pretty chill 90% of the time, but you know what? I might be an uptight bitch tomorrow. I'm always changing, so get rid of your assumptions and deal with it.

I don't need to be fed lines. I don't need to constantly be reminded of how great I am. The amount of favorites and retweets I get on Twitter are enough validation for me, thank you very much.

Just treat me like a normal person. Have a sense of humour. We're going to get along just fine.