Sunday, April 21, 2013

sarah reviews the calgary flames 2013 season without mentioning actual hockey

If you're a doctor, a lawyer, a scientist, or have any other kind of career that requires you to be super smart, you may have figured out that I'm a hockey fan. Now I'm not gonna say that I'm this HUGE fan that knows all these statistics and let's be real, I can barely calculate a percentage, let alone a save percentage (FACT: math makes me cry), but I enjoy watching the game in my free time.

Let's get a little more specific. I'm primarily a Calgary Flames fan. This is probably due to the fact that I was born and raised in Calgary. These things happen. With the regular NHL season ending this week, I thought that I would "review" the Flames 2013 season without discussing actual hockey.

I'm going to go a little off track and discuss food. Some amazing creations were invented at the Saddledome this year:

This is the ever popular "Hawaiian Shaved Ice Cream". If you've ever been to Hawaii, it's basically a snowcone with a scoop of ice cream. At the Saddledome, they have a shaved ice stand, as well as ice cream stands, but no stand that mixes them together for you. You have not lived until you've combined the two.

This is the slightly not as popular "Nachcorn". Basically you put some popcorn into the cheese portion of your nachos for a savoury delight.

Another cool thing that happened this year was that I found this couch! One of the Seven Wonders of the Saddledome:

Oh yeah! I forgot to mention that there are Seven Wonders of the Saddledome! Here they are, in no particular order:

1. Dutton's Pub
2. The East Entrance
3. The Magical Elevator of Love
4. That Couch (pictured above)
5. The Secret Stairwell with Amazing Acoustics
6. Press Level
7. Jay Feaster's Giant Bag of Popcorn

If you want to get the most out of your Calgary Flames experience, I suggest you become familiar with these Seven Wonders. They have been the cause of so many great inside jokes.

What else happened this year? Oh yeah, I rode The Magical Elevator of Love with Peter Maher and told him that I was gonna get drunk...I'm so awkward!

One thing that was actually really cool about this year was that I went to a Flames season ticket holder party with one of my best friends, Holly. Hands down, the best thing about that party were the chicken wings they served. Like, I know that makes it sound like the party was lame, but it wasn't. The chicken wings were just that good. I'm still regretting not putting more in my purse for later. Or asking for the recipe. Cause god damn, those were amazing. Anyway. The party was bumping. Holly and I were having a good time making fun of the dumb people we know and secretly hoping that Ken King would appear in a tuxedo wearing a monocle at any moment, when lo and behold, he did (although sadly not as well dressed as we imagined). Then the party mysteriously turned into a press conference where a lot of intense questions were asked, such as "Is Jarome Iginla getting traded?" (we were told no. Funny, right?) and "Did Mike Cammalleri get to keep the puck from the game where he scored a hat trick the other night?" (seriously lady, your question was dumb and that's why I'm making fun of you right now.) And then the scariest moment of all happened: A little boy shyly walked up to Ken King and KEN KING TOUSLED THE BOY'S HAIR. Hands down the most cringeworthy moment of the year for me, and I was at the game where the Oilers beat us 8-2... I'm just... not a fan of tousling hair. It creeps me out.

Stalker photo provided by Holly

I would also like to declare the Flames 2013 season "The Year of the Selfies".

2013 will also be the year Holly and I saw a bird flying through the Saddledome. Not sure how it got there, and we only saw it at that one particular game, but we affectionately named it "Bird" as it stole our hearts that night.

There was also a streaker. I need not say more about that.

This year, we lost Jarome Iginla. That was sad. But after the game Holly and I met up with Nikki and we watched Clueless. That was enjoyable. We also lost Jay Bouwmeester. I felt no emotion towards that. Then we lost Blake Comeau. That's been the hardest trade to deal with (no it hasn't).

This is also maybe worth mentioning:

Not sure what this means

I don't know about you guys, but I had a very successful Flames season. We may not be winning the Stanley Cup this year (no guys we are definitely not winning the Stanley Cup this year), but rest assured that change is coming and be hopeful for next year. Remember: Anything Could Happen.

Just FYI: This song sounds amazing when you sing it in The Secret Stairwell with Amazing Acoustics.

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