Friday, October 11, 2013

thankful

Be forewarned. The following post may get all serious and deep up in here. It may be sappy and cheesy but it's 100% true and from my heart. Now with that disclaimer, let's get an entry written up in this bitch!

I was originally planning to do a "year in review" type post in December, and I will likely do a post at the year's end complete with pictures documenting the highlights of 2013, but today's post is more of a coming of age story about my life in the past year.

You see, Thanksgiving weekend 2012 was when I started to think about making some big changes in my life. I was deeply unhappy and unsatisfied with my life. I was more heartbroken than I think I would've liked to admit at that time. As someone who has struggled with depression in the past, I recognized that this was a path that I could not continue on. There were some very negative aspects going on in my life and I needed to do something, anything, to change it.

Now, I don't do anything at 50%. I flipped my entire life around as much as I possibly could. I switched jobs and decided to go back to school without looking back.

At first I felt a little bit discouraged, because I still had unpleasant feelings about myself and my life (even though it was comforting to know that it would be temporary). Throughout the past few months at school, I almost felt like I was in a coma at times. I got through my days on very little sleep and felt like a zombie for most of the time. Between work and school, my social life was nearly non-existant. I eventually left my job at the end of my first semester because the course load was increasing dramatically. Fortunately, there has only been one emotional meltdown caused by finances since then.

I officially finished school on September 20. I guess you could say that I have been doing some "freelance" administrative work between then and now. Although I am currently unemployed, I'm finding my job hunt to be rather fruitful, which is amazing.

It's kind of funny how when one thing in your life starts going really well, your overall outlook on life becomes positive as well. I have the energy to work out everyday... I'm finally starting to look and feel more toned and I'm eating a lot healthier as well. I'm much happier and I feel a lot more like an adult every day. I have the most supportive and caring friends and family. These are all things I'm grateful for this Thanksgiving and I hope to carry this positivity into 2014 (it's sooner than we think!).

While in so many ways, I feel like I haven't changed, but I really and truly have grown up this year. A good friend told me back in January that 2013 would be a good year for me, and I never really believed him until now. I've made so many discoveries about life and people, such as how it is possible to end a friendship on good terms, and that only you can really change the things that make you unhappy. I've learned that alcohol can't always hide your problem. I've learned that saying "I can't do this anymore" to something that is causing you great grief doesn't make you failure. You can't help someone with their problem if they're not helping them self. Just to name a few things I've learned.

I think the next time life knocks me down, I'll just look back and remember these things. I have a lot to be thankful for this weekend.

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