I try to not hate people who have not given me any physical reason to dislike them so immensely, but every now and then someone in the public eye irritates me to the point where a chance meeting with them would at the very most send me to prison and at the very least end up with a restraining order against me. Today's victim is Christine Magee, best known for being the face of Sleep Country.
I don't know exactly what it is about her that makes me fly into a rage that could rival Gordan Ramsay's (UGH I LOVE THAT MAN... but more on that at another time). Maybe it's that I'm jealous of her success as a woman in the business world? No, that can't be it.
Just kidding, I know exactly why I hate her! Because she's in every Sleep Country commercial, walking around and celebrating everything about her store like it's the best shit you've ever seen. What, you say that the Sleep Country delivery men wear booties over their shoes when carrying your new mattress into your home to prevent dirt from being dragged in? Wow Christine Magee, that is so novel! That's totally and completely worth mentioning in your commercials! Oh, but the thing that's got me guzzling the haterade on this woman the most is that not too long ago I heard a radio commercial where she was like, "We will price match ANY competitor! Even ones that are going out of business!" What a fucking heartless bitch.
I'm am publicly declaring that I will never, under no circumstances ever going to purchase from Sleep Country while she is still the spokesperson. And also while they still have that theme song that belongs in a 1970's sitcom somewhere, like what the fuck is that shit? "Why buy a mattress anywhere else?" Because I don't want to deal with fucking Christine Magee telling me that I'll save money if I mix and match my mattress and box spring before Tuesday night at 9. I know that you can't tell that they don't match once you put your sheets on, but you know what Christine Magee? I'll know, and that's all that matters.