Wednesday, March 23, 2011

top 5 cartoons I will force my future children to watch

Okay, confession time... I love cartoons. Children's cartoons. And I'm 21. And if I ever have children, they'd better love cartoons too. Or else I'll make them watch me eat giant jars of Nutella all by myself and I will not share. I haven't done a top 5 in a while, so here's a list of the top 5 cartoons I will make my children watch:

1. Franklin

Raise your hand if the first thing you thought when you saw this picture was "HEEEEEEY IT'S FRANKLIN!"

Franklin can count by twos and tie his shoes. He can button buttons and zip zippers. He's also kind of a huge idiot. He's a perfect example of how to fail at life. I know he's young and all, but seriously Franklin, you are the stupidest one out of all of your friends. And on a side note: Why does Badger need walkers? Never mind, I just wikipedia'd the show and apparently Badger has cerebral palsy but it was never mentioned on the show. What's the point of giving a character a disability and never mentioning it? Regardless, I'll make my future kids watch this show so they can learn to not do stupid shit like lose their favorite toy.

2. Pokemon

What is going on in this picture? I don't even care because IT. IS. AWESOME.

Shit yeah, I love this show. I'm actually in the process of watching all of it from the very beginning, which is kind of daunting because there are 14 seasons and counting. I haven't decided yet if I want my kids to watch this show in its entirety... it will all depend on if Jesse and James from Team Rocket will ever hook up (I REALLY HOPE THEY DO! Or at least just make out a little to see what it's like).

3. Babar

Babar looks better in green than St. Patrick. YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.

Holy shit, Babar. Did you know that Babar's wife, Celeste, is his cousin? GROSS! But I try not to judge. That tends to happen a lot in the animal world. Anyway, Babar is pretty awesome, but the REAL star of the show is Retaxes. Even though he's like, the most passive aggressive villain ever. I mean, he's definitely the antagonist most of the time, but he never puts Celesteville in any real danger. What's your deal Retaxes?

4. Arthur

The biggest badass motherfucker on PBS.

I don't have to justify how awesome Arthur is. I still watch this shit like the world will end if I don't.

5. Ferngully

The Batty Koda rap: the anthem of our generation

This is what I'll force my kids to watch when they've been misbehaving, because chances are, Hexxus will scare the shit out of them like it did to me. Hell, I'm still afraid of Hexxus. Regardless of how much shit in my pants Hexxus has caused me over the years, this is still one of the best movies ever.

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