how did this happen?

This song is on the the first Pokemon Movie's soundtrack. WHY?

mysteries of life: imaginary friends

I didn't have any imaginary friends when I was a child. I kind of think that the idea of having one is a little weird. I mean, I pretend that I'm friends with Betty White and Tina Fey, but that's totally different and not weird at all because those are real people.

I may not have had any imaginary friends, but my brother had a couple. One was named "Michael" and I think he was my brother's age, which was cool. But he also had this other one named "Uncle Bob" who was apparently 40 and slept under my brother's bed, which I think is totally crossing the line, as far as imaginary friends go. I'm kind of surprised that my parents didn't see the creepiness of that situation.

I can wrap my head around the fact that children often have imaginary friends, even though I did not. I can accept this as a "normal" thing. I'm all for the use of the imagination and the creation of characters, believe me. But I'm just not sure if I'd be able to encourage it happening with my own hypothetical children. Where does an imaginary friend start, and schizophrenia end? How do I know that this imaginary person isn't just some kind of spirit hoping to possess my child? How old is "too old" to have an imaginary friend?

God damn it, now I've made myself ponder all of life's tough questions.

mysteries of life: the hairdresser

So, I am hereby announcing the end of Dedication December. Things got too busy for me and I kind of fell out of the groove. But cry not dear friends, because I can now blog about other things!

Today I am going to talk about hairdressers. And the bizarre power they seem to hold over us.

I don't know about you, but every time I go to get my haircut, I generally have the same problem every time: I go in prepared to tell the hairdresser what I would like them to do with my hair, they nod in agreement and just do whatever the fuck they want to my hair anyway, and then I leave unsatisfied.

I don't get it! Is there some sort of Hairdressers Code that we don't know about? Is there a law clearly stating that hairdressers are allowed to veto their customer's suggestions in the Bill of Rights somewhere? Why don't more people know about this? Or do they simply relish the brief but important power they hold over us when we're sitting in their chair while they're holding scissors/razors near our necks?

Are they under the impression that we will despise the hairstyle that we asked for, throw a fit, knock some chairs over, and walk out refusing to pay? Because really, heaven forbid they give us what we asked for!

I'm not speaking to you in code, when I tell you the following, I mean exactly this:

-When I say I want blond highlights, I don't mean red highlights.

-When I say I want to trim the split ends, I don't mean take 6 inches off.

-When I say straighten it, I don't mean curl the ends out.

That's not to say that all hairdressers will ignore every single one of your requests... I have had a few lovely stylists that gave me exactly what I wanted. But sadly just a few...

mysteries of life: the non-existent voicemail

I've been feeling like my blog has been getting kinda stale lately, so I decided to introduce a new segment: Mysteries of Life. This is where I comment on the unexplainable happenings that occur in everyday life.

Today I'm going to talk about the non-existent voicemail. I'm pretty sure we've all received one. I'm talking about checking your phone, seeing the "new voicemail" notification, and when you dial to listen to the message, it's simply someone hanging up their phone. Why do people do this? Is my personal voicemail message so interesting that you simply must wait for it to finish before you hang up your phone if you have no intention of leaving a message? If that's the case, well thank you so much! It's not like checking my voicemail is a total pain in the ass or anything. Oh wait, it totally is! Seriously, there are so many better things I can do with my time than checking my voicemail just to hear the sound of someone hanging up. I'm not gonna lie, I probably won't do better things with my time, but that is irrelevant.

So you know what, if you are one of these people, please stop ruining everybody's lives. That's really all I ask of you.