do the right thing

I can't watch animals suffer without trying to help, so if you're reading this, check out the horrors that are happening at the Guzoo Animal Farm in Three Hills, Alberta.

You can sign a petition to shut down the "zoo" here.

Thanks!

Oh sweet... another election

Hey Canada, we're having another federal election! Do you know who you're voting for?

Cause I don't.

Don't worry, I'm not going to use my blog to tell you who I think you should vote for (unlike most bloggers). And I won't lie, I'm not the most educated on the subject of Canadian politics. But I do know that voter apathy is an issue among Canada's youth, so here I am, a Canadian youth, offering my voice on the situation.

In the past, I have worked towards fighting the good fight against voter apathy - by proudly casting my ballot and encouraging my peers to do so as well. However, I'm just about ready to wave my white flag.

First of all, I'm starting to feel like Canada has an election as regularly as a healthy woman's menstrual cycle. Of course I'm exaggerating, but it seems as though the past few elections have costed millions of dollars and much of our precious time while the results have always been similar. I'm getting this kind of "my vote won't change anything" kind of vibe from people, and to be honest, I'm feeling that attitude too.

Secondly, the candidates don't appeal to us. I don't know if they even try to relate to us. In America, politicians will appear on Saturday Night Live... if the Canadian government wants young people to vote, they need to step up their game. Maybe a whole bunch of famous Canadians can get together and make inspirational videos about how important it is to vote! Imagine: A PSA featuring Justin Bieber explaining how important democracy is, followed by an acoustic rendition of one of his songs. He could even change the lyrics to baby, baby, baby, vooooooote! But you know what, this would probably never work because everyone would probably just vote for whichever candidate doesn't have Nickelback's vote. But you know what I mean. Appeal to the youth.

And lastly, and the most frustrating part for me is the fact that none of the candidates are trustworthy. I mean, I usually like at least one major candidate more than the others, but not so much this time. We've got Stephen Harper, a man who can't even be honest enough to admit the fact that his hair is fake; Michael Ignatieff, a man who calls for an election even though he's slipping in the polls; and Jack Layton, who reminds me of a guy that might drive a white van and hang around elementary schools (that's probably not true at all, but he does creep me out and I know I'm not the only one). And then we have Elizabeth May, who I don't know too much about, other than the fact that there's virtually no chance of her party ever rising to power.

So there we are with my theories on why young people seem to not care about Canadian politics. Facetiousness aside, I'm definitely becoming worried about the future state of our country (and the rest of the world, really). I'm concerned that none of the above choices will be progressive ones. Maybe it's not too late for Mayor Naheed Nenshi to start a campaign?

gotta get down on fried eggs

Apparently I've been too focused on the situation in Japan lately, because I had no idea that this video existed until yesterday. I'm of course talking about the musical masterpiece known as "Friday" by 13 year old Rebecca Black.

At first, I didn't understand what the hate on this video was all about. I thought that she and a group of her friends had written and recorded the song themselves, and filmed a video for it all on their own. I was impressed that a group of 13 year olds could produce something that looked so professional. But then I found out that an actual record label invested money into this production and now all I can do is facepalm.

The record label Rebecca Black has signed with is known as "Ark Music Factory" (more like "Evil Music Factory" AMIRIGHT AMIRIGHT?)- a label who evidently casts young talent to record their songs. But not without the help of auto tune! Which is a shame, because these young kids probably do have some amount of legit talent.

I just don't understand the process. Do these song writers actually get paid for shit like this? Do the executives get to see the finished product before it is released? And if so, do they actually watch it and go "WE'VE GOT THE NEXT BIG HIT ON OUR HANDS!" I mean, they probably think they're helping these kids' careers but honestly... who would pay money to see Rebecca Black sing "Friday" live? Anyone? Bueller... Bueller? Didn't think so. And what exactly is the target audience they're trying to cater to? I think I would've felt that my intelligence was being insulted if this song came out when I was a child.

If you think you can stomach it, check out some of the other talent on Ark Music Factory's roster.

And you thought Justin Bieber was annoying? But I can't in good conscience bash these kids for doing what they love to do, so maybe this is one of those rare times where we should "hate the game, not the player".

in the news: stupid people

So, in case you've been living under a rock, a huge earthquake shook up Japan this past Friday and resulted in a tsunami. They're expecting over 10 000 casualties. And this is more than a big deal. So you should all do something to help. I don't care how broke-ass poor you are, the Japanese need your $5 more than you do.

In Canada: Text "REDCROSS" to 30333 to make a $5 donation.

If you're one of my few and cherished American readers, Text "REDCROSS" to 90999 to make a $10 donation.

You may be wondering why the title of this post is "in the news: stupid people". Well, today I'm just about ready to give up on humanity. HERE'S WHY!

This morning I check www.perezhilton.com to read up on all of my Hollywood gossip, and I see he's made a post about this girl. I'm not going to say whether I agree or disagree with what this girl is saying, but did she really find it necessary to call out a specific group of people? Literally everyone that I know has had an experience with someone being too loud in a library, but not once have they ever pointed out a specific race as the target of their frustration. Instead of alienating Asians, couldn't she have said something like, "I find it really annoying when people are loud in libraries when I'm trying to study." Because I'm pretty sure that not only Asians abuse libraries.

Then I see that he's posted a video from God's little messenger. I don't even know what to say in response to that other than... "LOL WUT?" And you know what? I'm not even an atheist and I think she's ridiculous. People are entitled to be as religious or non religious as they want, but this girl is basically saying "I AM DELIGHTED THAT SO MANY PEOPLE DIED!" And that's pretty insensitive.

OH AND THEN! He gives stand up comedian Gilbert Gottfried some attention for posting tasteless jokes about Japan on his twitter. I get it, sometimes when we're struck by tragedy we don't know the right words to say, so we make an awful joke about the situation to try to ease the tension. I get the point of shock humor, but to make these jokes on a public forum such as twitter merely days after thousands of people have lost their lives? Not okay, Gilbert. If you simply must tell these kinds of jokes, maybe consider doing them in private so you don't offend the entire world next time? Yeah? Maybe? Please?

And Perez, WHY ARE YOU GIVING THESE PEOPLE ATTENTION?

Oh and you know what else is upsetting? The State of Georgia is hoping to pass a law that would allow women who have miscarriages to receive the DEATH PENALTY. Because, you know, miscarriages are just free abortions! Everyone who has one CLEARLY didn't want to be pregnant to begin with, right?

This is beyond frightening, people! It's 2011, and we're supposed to be progressing in order to achieve a happier and healthier world for our children. How are we expected to even have children if we can be punished by death for miscarrying? If everyone in the world was enrolled in the University of Creating A Better Future right now, I think we'd all be flunking.

I think everybody owes everybody an apology. I think we need to all take a long LUSH bubble bath and decompress. I think we all need to cool off and maybe have a good night's sleep. And when we wake up, let's have a group hug and help Japan rebuild itself. Let's solve one problem at a time and we'll all feel better.

I feel better already.

time is such a buzzkill

Charlie Sheen is literally everywhere lately! And he's so wacky I can hardly stand it! But I'm not gonna lie, I'd be more impressed with all of his antics if he still looked like this:

But unfortunately, he looks like this now:

If I could ask Charlie Sheen anything, it'd be:

-Do people refer to your brother as "EMILIOOOOOOOO" in front of you? How does it make you feel?

-Why haven't you changed your hair style in the past 20 years?

-Why are you always frowning at me!? :(

-I want to be "winning!" too! How do I achieve this?

-I heard a rumor that Jon Cryer paints his hair on everyday. Is this true?

-Have you ever punched the kid from your show in the face? If not, you probably should consider it...

Anyway... I hope you keep on "winning", Charlie. Don't exhaust yourself!

in the news

Sometimes, things happen in this world. Sometimes, these things get reported by the media. Sometimes, I feel passionate enough about these things to express my opinions about said things.

My beef today is with The Canadian Broadcast Standards Council for banning one of my dad songs, "Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits for the threefold use of the word "faggot".

I'm not gay, and as far as I know, I will never be gay, so I don't know how much of a victory this is for the gay and lesbian community. I mean, I know and love a lot of gay people, and as far as I know, none of them have ever lost sleep over this song.

Here are the lyrics in question:

See the little faggot with the earring and the makeup

Yeah buddy that's his own hair

That little faggot got his own jet airplane

That little faggot he's a millionaire

Now, this song has been pumping in our household since as long as I can remember, and honestly, I've never once paid attention to these particular lyrics (it's way funner to sing "I WANT MY MTV!" anyway). So was completely banning it from radio play really necessary? Is it not possible to bleep out the expletives and go on with our daily lives? I mean, if this song came out in 2011, there's no way that it would've been released as a single and I doubt it would've been a big hit. But this song came out in 1985. Now, I was born after 1985 so I can't really say for sure, but I'm pretty certain that back then, political correctness wasn't a huge priority.

I'm sorry to say, but there is no such thing as a 100% politically correct person in this world. If you think that the word "faggot" (and every other slur, for that matter) is slowly disappearing, you are very much wrong. I hear slurs more often now than I did as a child, that's for sure. You can remove the n word from Mark Twain's Huck Finn, but that's not going to stop somebody from saying it.

This song is said to be reminiscent of Archie Bunker, a character from the 1970's hit TV Show All in the Family. So the fact that Dire Straits ONLY chose to use the word "faggot" is pretty amazing. The song is obviously based on a character. Characters are often based on real people. So does CBSC not believe that there are real people in the world who use the word "faggot" in reference to an effeminate man? Because there are. You've seen it happen, and so have I.

I mean, I think this song is old enough to be considered "Classic Rock". Taking this song away is probably going to anger more people than it offends.

I think what grinds my gears the most is that the decision to ban it was made after one, one complaint. Is that really all it takes to solve my problems with the music industry? Well hot damn! While we're banning things, let's get rid of Avril Lavigne because she incorrectly spells "Skater Boy". Let's get rid of Dallas Green because his music makes me want to commit suicide! And how could I forget! Let's ban the Beatles from the radio too because John Lennon was an atheist and Paul McCartney doesn't support the Seal Hunt! Oh the horror! Praise God that someone like me exists to think of the children!

But seriously CBSC, good job. By banning this song, you're making more room on radio set lists for Nickelback. Because if there's one thing we all need more of, it's Nickelback, so thanks!