loveline

Oh my God, Loveline. I may be obsessed. In case you don't know what Loveline is (and in that case, you are sadly missing out), it's a call-in radio show based in LA hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky (meow!) and currently co-hosted by Mike Catherwood aka Psycho Mike. And by some form of miracle, it's syndicated live to an alternative radio station in my hometown every Sunday-Thursday at 11 pm. That may or may not be enough proof to convince me that there is a God.

At first I listened to Loveline as a sleep aid. And for that reason, I can only listen to the show while I'm in bed reading or on my laptop. I hate listening to it in other places like my car. If I'm out late on a weeknight, I'll seriously haul ass home so I can get home in time for Loveline.

I don't even know why I like it so much! But some guy can call in and be like, "my penis fell off! What should I do?" and even though I will probably never, ever have that happen to me, I still have to know what I should do. And sometimes they get celebrity guests who are really funny and awesome, like Seth MacFarlane comes in sometimes and does Family Guy character voices and answers the question "Does the rest of the family understand the baby?" 40 times per night.

I can only hope that one day, not too long from now, I can become famous enough to be asked to be a guest on Loveline. And only then I will be able to see "The Stinky Pinky Song" performed live. It's nice to have dreams.

So Loveline, I salute you. May you continue to answer North America's sexual questions for many more years to come. And if you're interested in calling into Loveline, the number is 1-800-LOVE-191. I didn't look that up, I have it memorized. That's how obsessed I am.