This is my friend Adam:
Sadly, Adam does not have a real mustache. Perhaps one day he will. Until then, I will entertain you all with *true facts about Adam.
(*Note= not all facts may be true.)
FACT. I was in class with Adam for a whole year. Not even kidding. From August 2009-August 2010. So I've known him for 365+ days. And of those 365+ days, I managed to have a crush on him for one full day. Congratulations Adam, that's longer than most of the crushes I've had on other guys! (jkit'stheshortestcrusheverplzdon'tfeelbad). But for that one day, I felt super awkward and clumsy around him and I blushed when he'd look at me but then I got over it. It was just a phase. Adam isn't in my class anymore and it's kind of weird, but Tanaya is in my class and she is Adam's other half (or better half? YOU DECIDE).
FACT. Adam is of Italian descent in case you're blind and couldn't tell from the picture. But then I would ask you what are you doing on the internet if you're blind? No offense to blind people, but how would you be reading this? Anyway, Adam does not speak Italian, but I do! How funny would it be if I made this whole post in Italian so he couldn't understand it? And then he'd copy-paste it into Google Translate and get a broken English version of it. THAT WOULD BE HYSTERICAL.
FACT. My favorite memory of Adam is... never mind. I don't want to share it on the internet. He knows what I'm talking about anyway.
FACT. One time, Adam came over for dinner. When he got to my apartment he took off his pants and... again, I don't think I should post this on the internet.
FACT. I can't think of an appropriate Adam related story to post on my blog so I will just play an 80's style montage of Adam memories in my head. Thank you for your time.