Saturday, October 2, 2010


Ladies, you've all done it. Someone pulls out a camera on your night out and at the last minute you have to strike a pose. Whatever will you do? The answer is simple, you pucker your lower lip and curl your upper lip to your nose. The results: ducklips.

Guys seem to have huge hate ons for ducklips. I for one, am a fan. When I'm out with my girls getting sloshed and leading unattractive people on and the camera comes out, I resort to two classic photo techniques; angle pictures and ducklips. Why? Because I'm obviously a party girl! Besides, smiling nicely in pictures is too risky. Everytime I smile like society tells me how I should, a plethora of anxieties overcome me. Am I showing too much gum? Am I squinting too much? Will my phantom lazy eye make an appearance in this photo? Will I sneeze at the last minute? Will this photo go on the internet and greatly reduce the chances of me getting laid?

When I pose with ducklips, these worries don't haunt me as much. I am willing to sacrifice looking like an intelligent young woman rather than be that girl with the weird eye thing. It kind of works out because guys don't really like smart girls anyway. I've been smart my whole life and it hasn't really worked out for me, relationship wise.

I'm going to be getting headshots done soon, and you know how I think I'm gonna pose for them? ducklips and tits pushed together. I want employers to know that I'm a party girl, and not a smart girl!

Ladies, we must fight for our right to ducklip, because it is being threatened every minute, every hour, and every day. Men around the world are campaigning against our default party faces. They must be stopped. If you love your ducklips, show them to world. With no shame or remorse. Have nothing but pride for them. Ducklip your way to the top of the world!

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