ask sarah segment 3

So, I regularly try to keep my "Ask Sarah" segments scheduled to occur once a month. However, within the last week there has been a high demand for another segment, and I have also experienced a large influx of questions. I'm the kind of person who likes to appeal to the majority, so without further ado, I present to you "Ask Sarah Segment 3".

This is where I take your questions and answer them to the best of my ability!

1. You get in a car accident, you live but only because of freak science experiments. These procedures have given you life again but you must live with side affects. Would you kill yourself if all you could smell or taste forever was onion and celery?

What an astounding question! The answer of course is yes, yes I would.

2. What would you do for a Klondike Bar?

Just about anything except for eating celery and onions. I mean, those bars are delicious. I know Josef Stalin did some terrible things, but if he said that he did it for a Klondike Bar, maybe people would be more understanding?

3. If you had to choose between having a midget child and living in Edmonton, which would you choose?

Midget child hands down! HANDS DOWN! I'd push it in a stroller throughout its whole life. I don't even care that people would stare because at least WE DON'T LIVE IN EDMONTON.

4. Do you drool in your sleep? If yes, what does it taste like?

Occasionally. Chicken.

5. What would you do if your son was at home crying all alone on the bedroom floor cuz he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money?

I think I would have to explain to you that I am in that predicament because his daddy's gone somewhere smoking rock now in and out of lockdown; I ain't got a job now. So for you this is just a good time, but for me, this is what I call life. Mmm...

6. You see a baby in a bassinet floating down a river towards a waterfall, you run to go grab it but WAIT: WHAT'S THAT SOUND? It's two teenage kids torturing baby wolves. Both have only seconds to live. What do you do?

Whoever asked this question is a sick, sick bastard. I like to think that I would save the baby, because not saving it would be more guilt on my conscience. HOWEVER, I would also hope that the baby wolves' mother is around, and she would have her way with those teenagers.

7. If you had to nominate someone to be the next Jesus who would you choose and why?

Probably my friend Dave. He can grow a sick beard and he's got some bright ideas. He's also a carpenter. Hmm...

8. ... ... ... Cuddles?

Yes. Always!

Well, that's our show for today. I apologize for running a little late. Thanks to everyone who submitted questions. And remember, you can submit your questions for my next "Ask Sarah" segment at:

http://www.formspring.me/mirosar