top 5 deal breakers

Ladies, we all know what certain qualities to look for in a potential significant other. But more importantly, we all know what we're not looking for in a potential significant other. These qualities are known as deal breakers. Many people have the standard deal breakers, such as "I don't like a woman who flirts with other guys", or "I don't like a man who disrespects his mother". While those are very valid and important deal breakers, I tend to be a little bit more... selective with what turns me off of someone. So here are my personal top 5 deal breakers:

1. When I have to constantly explain things. It's always a buzzkill when I'm interested in someone, and they have no idea what I'm saying. I'll admit, sometimes I'm not very articulate, but I don't appreciate having to explain what certain words mean simply because they don't get it.

2. When they don't laugh at the things I laugh at. There is no possible way that I can spend my life with someone who doesn't think that 4 little people relay racing a camel isn't hilarious. I'M SORRY IF THAT MAKES ME A TERRIBLE PERSON FOR LAUGHING, BUT IT'S HOW I FEEL. And if you try and tell me that you didn't at least crack a smile, then you would be a liar.

3. They eat an obscene amount of celery. This may be the biggest deal breaker on my list. I understand that some people like eating celery, although I cannot fathom why. But all I ask is that they at the very least keep the celery consumption to a minimum while I'm around. Or better yet, only partake in it when I'm not around. It could be one of those secrets that couples keep from each other that makes their relationship stronger, like cross dressing and my dependency on alcohol.

4. They take everything too seriously. Basically, if I can't make someone laugh, I will immediately lose interest in them. There have been, of course, great exceptions to this.

5. They're addicted to Farmville/Mafia Wars/[insert game here]. There is just no competing with that.