sarah's official dating profile!

Okay folks, so here's the deal. After a long year of soul searching and eating Peanut M&M's, I've decided to get back into the dating game. I'm sure you've all been waiting patiently for this news to be announced and are doing backflips of joy right now. You'd better be. But before you break your backs, here are some ground rules:

-I must be attracted to you from the beginning. None of this "getting to know you" bullshit. I know you can't really control my attraction to you, but having blue eyes will help (but it not always necessary).

-You must allow me to mock you and put you down at my leisure. You are welcome to return the favor but if I start crying, you should probably stop.

-You must laugh at my subtle references to my alcoholism, but never question them.

-You must not eat celery around me.

-You don't have to like Pokemon, but you must know what it is.

-You must laugh at my jokes.

-It helps if you're at least 5 years older than me. But again, not necessary.

-You must have some sort of career, or least are taking steps towards one.

-It is your responsibility to take me home from a party once I've started drunk crying.

I recommend saving this list so you can reference it at any time. Even if you're not interesting today, you could be tomorrow. Maybe...