Friday, December 24, 2010

merry christmas from widows on the dock

Oh hey, it's almost Christmas. Maybe I should acknowledge that.

My gift to you this year is a helpful list of things you can do to turn your "holiday" into a "loliday":

-drink alcohol
-buy shit for other people
-make your guests sit down and watch your favorite movie when they come over
-feed the dog alcohol
-feed the baby alcohol
-record yourself smoking salvia and put it on youtube for all your friends to see! :)
-tell people what you really think of them
-punch your mother in law in the face
-reminisce with your friends about the time you all went to this sick night club on Elbow Drive, and get violently angry when they tell you that there is no such night club on Elbow Drive, and that you must've dreamed it
-kiss everybody
-football tackle the christmas tree
-get really offended when someone says "happy holidays"
-scream randomly
-get 'a wonderful christmas time' by paul mccartney stuck in everybody's heads. THEY WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER FOR IT
-steal some bread. if you get caught, tell people that you're gonna give it to some starving children like a motherfucking modern day jean val jean
-go to the extreme with your emotions

If you try just one or all of these things, you should be LOLing in no time!

Merry Christmas everyone!

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